Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?….No you hang up first! Hello? 911?

(Source: internetmessiah, via pizza)

LOOL


“People waste way too much energy taking things personally. That Facebook post is probably not about you. It was probably an accident that you weren’t tagged in that picture. And the person you’re dating is probably acting sad because that’s how they respond to setbacks at work, not because of anything you did.”

“People waste way too much energy taking things personally. That Facebook post is probably not about you. It was probably an accident that you weren’t tagged in that picture. And the person you’re dating is probably acting sad because that’s how they respond to setbacks at work, not because of anything you did.”

(Source: humansofnewyork)

HONY